Giant Heads and Enormous Bodies - Part Two: Enormous Bodies

Last month, we learned that the direction of a giant head story was split along gender lines. Is it the same with enormous bodies? That was the question in my mind when I went on a search for the pleasantly plump among comic characters.

There are several books that feature the unnaturally rotund. In The Legion of Superheroes, Bouncing Boy's superpower is his big, bouncing body. In issues where he loses this power and becomes a trim person, he's no longer effective at all. The opposite is true for the other heroes.

For example, there's Flash #115, "The Day Flash Weighed 1,000 Pounds." It has all the best Silver Age comic devices: gorillas, amnesia, telepathy, secret scientific weaponry, and the climactic use of a hatpin. Flash's enormous girth is a major hindrance to his super-speed and his role as a hero.

In Superman #221, "The Two-Ton Superman," Clark Kent enters a mock Martian exploration module and has to launch himself into space because he'd suddenly become obese. He finds out it was an after-effect of drinking Scarlet Nector on another planet (that happens to me all the time - and yeah, Jenny Craig didn't believe me either). Besides the problem of being a fat Clark Kent as well as a two-ton Superman, Big Blue has another problem. The next day, he needs to lie down in a mold of his body that is attuned to the last ounce of his normal weight so a super-secret vault can open at exactly 8 am. With this ticking clock in place, Superman spends the comic doing his good deeds like he's in a super-gym, trying to work off the fat. Miraculously, he shaves off all but a few pounds (he grabs some anti-gravity disks to normalize his final weight). With the bulk of the comic spent with Superman trying to lose weight because of his duties as a superhero, it never focuses on his looks or ability to attract the opposite sex.

Justice League of America #7, "The Cosmic Fun-House," is a classic story of the early JLA. As Green Arrow, Green Lantern, The Flash, and Wonder Woman leave the Cosmic Fun-House, a strange ray distorts the molecules of their bodies. They look like reflections in a fun-house mirror with Wonder Woman in the role of fat lady. Again, she has no thoughts about sexual attractiveness. It's all about her job as a superhero. She's too fat to lift her arms to throw the magic lasso. In fact, all of the distortions affect the heroes' abilities to use their powers so Aquaman saves them all swimmingly, including helping Wonder Woman lift her arms. In the end, Green Lantern changes them all back to normal with no lingering consequences (like a sudden urge to pig out on a Paradise Island feast day).

So what of our human friends? Are they worried about their fate as productive members of society? Or are things a wee bit more personal with them?

In Superman's Pal Jimmy Olsen #59, the story "Jimmy Olsen, Freak" has some jealous suitors turning Jimmy into a fat (he describes it as balloon-like), hairy, big-eared, long-tongued freak so that their shared wife would reject him. Although the big body isn't a major focus of the story, it's used to make him undesirable to the opposite sex. For Jimmy, it's all about his boyish good looks. Happily, Superman makes the aliens turn him back into the Jimmy we all know and love and Lucy Lane finds him ever so dreamy at the end of the book.

Our old friend Lois Lane is not immune to the enormous body storyline, either. Superman's Girlfriend Lois Lane #5, "The Fattest Girl in Metropolis," has her exposed to a growth ray (Darn those scientific rays! They're always trouble). She wakes up needing a membership in Weight Watchers and is scared to death Superman will see her. Her weight is exaggerated to the nth degree as her girth blows out the tires on a car and she has to use "an extra-strong chair" at work. Superman doesn't appear to recognize her, but does make a joke about her weight (not nice, Man of Sarcasm). He even sends her a giant box of chocolates for her birthday (which she nearly polishes off, making her the only super-sized character whose appetite matches the new weight). After many "Oh no, I can't let Superman see that I'm fat!" incidents, we find out that Supes was behind the growth ray "accident" as a means of disguising Lois from a thug who vowed to kill her. In the end, the thug is caught, Lois is exposed to another ray (which will shrink her in 24 hours) and she makes Superman spring for an enormous meal because she knows she'll be skinny again the next day. That's using your head, Lois!

As you can see, instead of a division along gender lines, as the giant brain stories were, the freakishly fat are divided along super and non-super lines. If you're super, it's all about hampering your super-powers so that you can't do your job. If you're a normal person, it's all about losing your ability to attract the opposite sex. The superheroes never care about their physical attractiveness. The non-supers rarely give a thought to their ability to function normally. In all the stories, the common thread is that no one wants to remain super-sized.

A former writer for DC Comics and TV's Weird Science, Joanna Sandsmark is also the author of The Wisdom of Yo Meow Ma, A Girl's Best Friend, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Cat, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Dog, and Explore Your Destiny With Runes. If you'd like to learn more, including a detailed bio and more information about Joanna's books, please visit her Web site or visit her blog.

This is a guest article. The thoughts and opinions in this piece are those of their author and are not necessarily the thoughts of the Certified Collectibles Group.