Freud would have a field day. “So, Superman, why is it you have had several battles with... yourself?” Not just himself – his secret identity, Clark Kent. It happened many times and each story was unique in how it set up and executed a battle between Superman and his own alter ego.
In Action Comics #341, in a story appropriately titled, “The Battle of the Alter-Egos,” Superman is chasing a villain named Baron X who has stolen America’s atomic bombs. This was the 60s and nuclear warheads were obviously available on every street corner because supervillains never ran out of them.
Upon finding out that the bombs were all stashed on an unnamed Pacific island, Superman headed out to retrieve them and sure enough – KABOOM! He gets an atomic tickle. When the smoke clears, Superman is riding a flying chunk of island (complete with a partial tree) and lo and behold, standing next to him is Clark Kent.
Naturally, they decide to fight each other. They land on another convenient island and do things like throw cannonballs at each other. (That’s what I do when I meet someone new. “Hi, my name’s Joanna. I’m your new neighbor. How well do you take a cannonball to the gut, hmm?”) When Superman is certain that Clark is really Clark and is just as super as he is, both men fly to the Fortress of Solitude. Superman does a little awkward exposition about the giant key being disguised as an airplane marker and Clark gets huffy because duh, he knows everything Superman knows.
Clark decides to make Superman a gift and gives him a utility belt, just like Batman has! Hoodoggy, The World’s Finest can be twins! Clark wants to demonstrate it and grabs a metal box to show off the utility belt’s magnet. He tosses the box on the floor but a nugget of kryptonite falls out. Superman goes for his giant tongs (Those giant tongs sure do come in handy. Rumor has it you bought them off of an infomercial.) but Clark demonstrates his lead–squirter instead. It is at this point that I lost the thread of the story because I was laughing too hard at the lead–squirting panel. It looks like Clark is relieving himself on the kryptonite. Immediately I saw the advantages in this new superpower if in fact kryptonite could be neutralized by a wee bit of wee. “Kryptonite? No problem! I’ll just take a – uh oh. It’s a boulder. Quick! Get me four beers and three cups of coffee!”
Anyone have this story figured out yet? If you guessed “Phantom Zone Criminal pretending to be Clark Kent” you win the prize. So what other methods of having Superman fight himself might there be? How about a trip to his past? In Superboy #144 (“Superboy’s Stolen Identity”) he appears to lose both identities. Under his Clark clothes, Superboy finds a weird and unfamiliar costume. And to his shock, Clark Kent is living with Ma and Pa. The world has gone insane! The other Clark also has superpowers and flies around in a Superboy costume. Meanwhile, our Superboy / Clark is living with another set of adopted parents and everyone calls him Kirk Quentin.
Like the Superman story outlined above, Superboy also visits an unnamed Pacific island and gets blown up by an atomic bomb. I’m telling you – those darn things were everywhere! If you have a trip planned to any unnamed Pacific islands, bring a lead suit and some iodine.
So what’s the gimmick this time? Not a phantom zone criminal – this time it’s an elaborate plot by an alien super family who are doing experiments on Superboy. Yeah, I know – that was your second guess. Darn those wacky alien super families anyway.
Next month, join me again for part two of the Battling Alter-Egos edition of the Spinner Rack. It’ll be filled with wacky DC goodness with 0 trans fat!
Joanna Sandsmark — A former writer for DC Comics and TV’s Weird Science, Joanna Sandsmark is also the author of The Wisdom of Yo Meow Ma, A Girl’s Best Friend, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Cat, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Dog and Explore Your Destiny With Runes. If you'd like to learn more, including a detailed bio and more information about Joanna's books please visit her Web site or visit her blog.
This is a guest article. The thoughts and opinions in this piece are those of their author and are not necessarily the thoughts of the Certified Collectibles Group.
