Spinner Rack: "The Dog from S.C.P.A.!" - Part 2

Part one saw Krypto witnessing the tragic end of a balloon-sized member of the Space Canine Patrol Agents named Mammoth Mutt. He grabbed the dog’s collar with the acronym written on it to pose as a member of this esteemed league. The entire group of agents had been kidnapped by a criminal gang known as the Canine Caper Gang. It's a dog-eat-dog world in the pages where Krypto holds sway, so let's get back to the action.

Krypto has chosen his disguise — an old pair of Clark Kent's glasses. Really. No imagination, that dog. He still has to choose a name for himself. His choice? Secret Agent Air Daile, The Flying Dog! No, I'm not joking. And yes, I wish I were.

With both the disguise and a new snazzy handle, Superboy's pet dog zooms overhead, dodging ray guns as he seeks out the criminal gang who has his canine compatriots. All is well until he runs into their watchdog, The Doggysaur! It is everything you are now thinking — i.e., a dinosaur with a dog head. That was what you are thinking, right?

He takes care of the dog-headed dinosaur by flying around its head. This makes him wag his tail — an energetic and painful experience for the Canines. He also makes sure to include lots of twisted dog references in every panel. However, things don't go as well for Secret Agent Air Daile, The Flying Dog as we would think. The human dogs manage to stop him in his tracks and start hitting him. He is defeated with little more than a whimper. My apologies, he is "weak as a kitten," according to one of the bad guys. The dog people on this planet despise weak little kittens, no doubt. They toss him into a room with a bunch of dogs that look like dogs. None of them are dressed in human clothing, and from the neck down they look like dogs instead of people. They all have collars with S.C.P.A. written on them.

We find out it was Krypto's plan all along to have them throw him in with the other captured dogs. The dogs are delighted to see him, so much so that they give him a stick of gum. I had no idea that the giving of gum was something dogs did with each other. Apparently, because they were unable to offer him any food, they went with their second idea, the gifting of gum.

Because the Clark Kent glasses are a complete and total disguise, Secret Agent Air Daile, The Flying Dog tells them he is actually Krypto of Earth. At this, the dogs get very excited because he's a celebrity. One of the dogs asks him to shake paws. Krypto's ego gets a good stroking and he responds with, "Well, I can't deny I'm slightly terrific!" There is a smug look on his face, too. I have to hand it to the artist. He managed to make a dog look really smug. That is not an easy thing to do. But, geez, Krypto, take the ego down a notch. I never knew he was so cocky.

Quickly recovering from his moment of, "It's all about me," Krypto asks each of the dogs what their special power is. It reminds me of the tryouts for the Legion of Superheroes when guys like Arm-Fall-Off Boy tried out. Sit back for an amazing roll call of doggy insanity.

The first dog is named Tail Terrier. Guess what his power entails? (See what I did there?) "I can stretch out my elastic tail like a long rope!" Oh boy. That seems like it might come in handy in an extremely specialized way.

The next dog is Tusky Husky. "I can turn one of my teeth into a long tusk for prying things open." Hmmm … Nothing specialized there. Now the question is, will the pairing of a dog breed and a power continue?

"I'm Chameleon Collie! Watch me turn into … a fork-tailed cat … a feathered bear … and a monster blob!" The breed plus power stayed the same, but at least this power is more useful. A standard shape-shifter — not unusual, but always useful. I say that, and yet I cannot fathom why you would need a feathered bear. He can't fly — there are feathers but no wings. He's just a carnivorous bear who looks fluffy. And a fork-tailed cat? Is his tail like that so that he can eat his Meow Mix in a more civilized fashion? Honestly, I am 100 percent in favor of the shape-shifter. I just don't get why he shifts into the shapes he chooses. Let's move on.

The breed followed by a power formula stops with our next pup. Hot Dog is a dachshund who can heat up like a furnace. That would be lovely on cold nights, but it's a weird superpower. It sounds like someone just wanted to do a riff off of "hotdog" and didn't care how stupid it sounded.

Bulldog becomes bull-headed and horned. At this point they are completely losing me. "Quick! Grow horns and stand around!" Dogs already have a system of offense that is quite formidable. They can bite you. I don't see why the dog needs horns. Moving on …

Finally, there is Paw Pooch, who not only goes for alliteration instead of a breed, but can turn itself into a many-legged centipede canine. I'm sure that will be very helpful. I give up.

This was an almost frightening litany of dog names and powers. We have learned that Krypto is not the only dog who likes to use a little wordplay. We've also learned that dogs think medical oddities are a superpower. I am also flabbergasted at the amount of weirdly powered dogs in the universe, all of whom have found each other. Imagine the odds!

And now they're ready for a big display from Krypto, since his powers are the greatest of all. He begins his demonstration by ramming his head into a stone wall, expecting to smash through it "like it was made of soggy dog-biscuits!" Instead, he bounces off the wall with a giant "Boing!" Oh no! What's happened to Krypto? And why did he start his exhibition of powers by running into a brick wall? Dogs are so weird. Still, I sure hope Krypto is okay. But, what if he isn't?

And on that nail-biting, terror-filled question, I will have to leave you until next month brings you the thrilling conclusion!

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This is a guest article. The thoughts and opinions in this piece are those of their author and are not necessarily the thoughts of the Certified Collectibles Group.