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kav

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    The OFFICIAL Cornfield Library lounge area thread. Off topic posts are allowed!

    in Comics General

    Posted

    Theatrics of farming
    About 20 years ago, I was a young rural telco repair guy. It was very typical to wander through farmers’ fields to get to a pedestal to fix telephone wires. A lot of the time you have to slip past barbed wire and just avoid the cow patties.
    Sometimes the cows will come see what you're doing, generally it's fine. Horses are a bit more like dogs and you have to gauge their personalities. It's usually obvious when a horse is going to be territorial.
    Anyway, this one time, I crawled through the fence carrying a ladder and some joker has piled tires over the pedestal!
    I'm grumbling to myself and start lifting the heavy tires off the pedestal when I hear shouting. Farming comes blasting up on a quad, and yells to me (and I swear this was the line, I bet he was saving it forever) “COME WITH ME IF YOU WANT TO LIVE!”
    I kinda just stared at him but felt the earth starting to shake. So hopped on behind, and we raced off. About a minute later a herd of bison came racing through, stomping on my ladder, and would have done the same to me.
    I didn't realize that farmers were raising bison here, but I sure left tire protected pedestals alone after that.

    The OFFICIAL Cornfield Library lounge area thread. Off topic posts are allowed!

    in Comics General

    Posted

    Miscreant who borrowed $8000 for motorcycle then said he never borrowed anything kept smart mouthing judge judy. Here's how it ended:
    Judy: "Ok sir lets hear it and talk fast"
    insufficiently_thoughtful_person: "Well I could talk fast if you didnt keep cutting me off"
    Judy: "What did he say?"
    Offcr Byrd: "He said he could talk fast if you didnt keep cutting him off"
    Judy: "Judgment for the plaintiff in the amount of $5000 your counterclaim is dismissed"
    insufficiently_thoughtful_person: "Wow"
    Offcr Byrd (escorting insufficiently_thoughtful_person out): "Good move"

    The OFFICIAL Cornfield Library lounge area thread. Off topic posts are allowed!

    in Comics General

    Posted

    On 11/15/2022 at 11:26 PM, Cat said:

    The Ashanti Kingdom, now part of modern-day Ghana, was once coveted by the British Empire. King Prempeh, in 1896, refused to become part of the British Protectorate, and so the British forcibly ‘protected’ his kingdom.

    The Golden Stool was a symbol of power in the Ashanti Kingdom. Made from solid gold, the stool was only 18 inches high and 24 inches long, and was considered so sacred, that no one was allowed to sit on it. It was an artifact of immense cultural significance.

    And then, in 1900, the British Governor of the Gold Coast, Sir Frederick Hodgson, decided that he would quite like to sit on it. In fact, he demanded to sit on it. The Ashanti people were outraged, and a fierce war broke out, during which 2,000 Ashanti people and 1,000 British troops died. 

    --------

    3000 people died because some wanker really wanted to sit on a tiny chair. 

    sounds like the WC

    The OFFICIAL Cornfield Library lounge area thread. Off topic posts are allowed!

    in Comics General

    Posted

    On 11/15/2022 at 8:11 PM, Cat said:

    Guess whose got some more saltwater taffy? This time I ordered root beer (my favourite, I couldn't get it last time), apple pie, and some I've never tried - vanilla (very nice, it's the first I've tried), hot chocolate, and mango. 

    All made in the USA. Do I get a statue for supporting your economy? A certificate at least? 

    naw