Need advice on a sale that is going sideways 7 7

[skypinkblu]

22 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

Hello All

I am replying now to this thread as I have no frequented this forum in a while due to family health problems and I had no idea a thread was started.

I am very sorry about this incident but I would at least like to present my side of the story.

I have not been buying on this forum for awhile due to financial problems. My mom is battling brain cancer and my brother had  bacteria attack his heart and needed emergency open heart surgery to save his life. While all this is going on, my friend said he wanted to buy some ASMs. He has been buying some of my war books off and on over the past few years and I guess I got him started on ASMs as I threw in a few free ones with his books.

I thought this may be a way I can get my mind off of things so of course the first place I looked for books is here on the forum. Jeff responded to my WTB thread and I explained to him that I am buying them for my friend. We agreed on a price a little above 1/2 guide and I paid him and he shipped the books to me. About a day before the books arrived, my friend Patrick told me that his wife is furious at him that he is buying comics and that he could not buy such a large $ amount, at least not right now.

My problem is that I paid for the books, but financially, I could not afford them myself. I needed my money back by the end of the month or I would have problems paying my bills.

I sent a message to Jeff telling him the situation and if I could return the books and I will pay for his shipping to me (around $45). this way it would not cost him a cent. I explained that i do not have the money to keep them myself, and that I have almost all of these books anyway. As a seller on the boards, I accept returns, although the buyer pays return shipping if it not something I made a mistake on. In this case I was offering to pay his shipping to me as well. He did not want that and that his when this started going south.

Jeff said that he would not accept the return , I then said, if he can give me a 10% discount, I would start a thread here and sell the myself at 50% off. The 10% discount would drop them a little below 50% and I would at least get some or most of my money back. He said no, he will not do that, he said that he wants them shipped to another person and he will take a $200 loss as they will split the sales 50/50. He said he does not want the books in his house anymore. I did not, and still do not understand this reasoning, but I am guessing he was upset with me. I know he was disappointed, and I felt bad, but I just could not afford to buy them myself, I only did this to help my friend and now it blew up in my face.

now this is where it went bad, as I did not feel comfortable sending these books to somebody I do not know. I wanted to send them back to Jeff, and I still feel this is what I should have done. He would not have had to pay for any of the shipping and it would have only cost him his time (although he said to me, time is money so it would have cost him something). But Jeff said something that bothered me and made this thing get a little ugly, he said he will not give me the address of the guy until I paypal him $45 for shipping. I did not like how that sounded. I told him that he can just take the $45 out of the money I sent him when he refunds me. I felt that I was not going to get my money back at this point, and the best thing is to send the books back to Jeff, let him take $45 off for the shipping to me and hope for the best. I guess that tone of his soured me and made me very nervous about this situation...I really thought I would lose my money and the books will be going to someone else and then I will have no way to make a paypal claim

That is when another boardie stepped in and vouched for Jeff. Because of this I very, very reluctantly agreed to send them to this other person but the cost of shipping to this person was up to him. I said I would ship it Media mail but he said that is illegal and that he did not want that. I said however he wanted it shipped is up to him then. Again, I said I would rather ship the books back to him as that way I feel more secure about my situation and making a claim in case I did not get my money back (minus the $45 for shipping).

Anyway, I paid for the shipping to his friend but there was a mix-up as to who is paying the shipping to his friend at the end. I said that if he should take $38.61 out of my refund, as at that time, that is what I thought the postage was to me (that is what it said for postage on the box...He said it was actually $45 with taxes and such). He thought the $38.61 was the postage it cost to send to his friend, so that is where the mix-up was.

I think at the end, we were both tired with each other. Jeff was upset that my friend could not pay, and that I could not keep them due to financial dificulties (although, again i did say I would sell them on the forum here). I was upset as I did not like the tone of his messages, especially his "blackmail" sounding one saying pay me $45 or you don't get the name & address. I was also very nervous of not getting any of my money back. That is why I kept saying I want to send the books back to you.

Anyway, I feel bad about the situation and offer my apologies to Jeff for this whole debacle. I never had a situation like this with anyone on the boards before. I will take part of the blame as I trusted my friend, and he let me down, although I understood his situation.You try to do something to help a friend and it blows up in your face. Plus the fact that this was happening as I was going back and forth from the hospital and nursing home due to my brother & mothers health problems, and it was a nightmare to be stuck in. My mind was not in the best shape, and maybe I got too paranoid about being in some sort of a scam.

 

I am sorry about your mother and brother. I do however, have a few questions.

1. Why didn't you just sell them on the forum without asking for more of a discount?  Why should the original seller bear the cost difference? 

2. There was some talk about your friend paying you something. What is that all about? 

[Jaymole]

16 minutes ago, skypinkblu said:

I am sorry about your mother and brother. I do however, have a few questions.

1. Why didn't you just sell them on the forum without asking for more of a discount?  Why should the original seller bear the cost difference? 

2. There was some talk about your friend paying you something. What is that all about? 

Thanks

When Jeff told me he wanted me to send them to his friend and he will split it 50/50, I said that I would sell them on the forum if he could give a discount so I can sell them at 50% off..basically at whatever it was that I was paying for them. I have sold on this forum before and I know it is hard selling books above 50%. This way he would not be out of all that money. but he said he did not care about the money now, it was the principal. I was not going to make a dime on the books, but I needed to try and sell most of them to get my money back as soon as possible. With all that was going on, I really did not have time to sell them on the boards, but I felt bad about the situation and his losing so much money (although i still do not understand that part)

But I understand what you are saying and that I should have taken the loss and not asked for a discount. At guess at this point I was getting very nervous that I would not get my money back because he wanted the books sent to someone else and that I may be in a scam. I never dealt with Jeff,and he never dealt with me, so that did not help. Maybe we were both suspicious of one another. I guess when he would not accept the books back when it would not have cost him a cent and was willing to take hundreds in $ in loss, it sounded very fishy to me. I really did feel very very nervous.

My friend said he would pay half the shipping which he did. I would not accept more of that as he did not know they were coming from Canada and that it was so expensive to ship.  After this thing was over, he said that maybe he could have paid the books off over time, but that would not have been an option as I could not afford to wait for my money back.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Jaymole

[newshane]

I'm sorry to hear about your personal issues. I really am sympathetic; however, I fail to see how it excuses your behavior throughout this situation and find it unfortunate that you would even mention it.

[Jaymole]

9 minutes ago, newshane said:

I'm sorry to hear about your personal issues. I really am sympathetic; however, I fail to see how it excuses your behavior throughout this situation and find it unfortunate that you would even mention it.

I only mentioned it to get the frame of my mind at the time. I am a very easy going person, but i felt angry that these things were happening to my family. When my friend said he could not pay me for the books, I felt that this was another sick joke...I tried to do something to help a friend, and that just blew up in my face. I guess my frame of mind was not in the best situation.

I still feel that paying for his shipping to me and my sending the books back to him was fair, but I accept that you feel that I should have kept the books.

Everyone is different. If things were reversed, I would have accepted the return, especially if they said they would pay for my shipping as well, but that is me. Perhaps that is part of the problem as I could not understand his anger at me.

I also admit I made a mistake in not asking his return policy. I did not know he did not accept returns. But then again, I had no idea my friend was not going to be able to pay. The books I sold him were always under $100 as a lot. Something over $600, was new and his wife went ballistic.

Edited June 12, 2018 by Jaymole

[Columbia Comics]

@Jaymole  dude...stop editing every one of your posts.  It makes you look even more guilty.

You eff'ed up...plain and simple.  Fall on the sword and move along.  Making excuses only makes things worse for you.

[Jaymole]

1 minute ago, Columbia Comics said:

@Jaymole  dude...stop editing every one of your posts.  It makes you look even more guilty.

You eff'ed up...plain and simple.  Fall on the sword and move along.  Making excuses only makes things worse for you.

I edit my posts due to grammar and clearness, not because I am changing and making things up.

 

[Columbia Comics]

1 minute ago, Jaymole said:

I edit my posts due to grammar and clearness, not because I am changing and making things up.

 

Well at least it was you making the edits and not a friend...that could certainly blow up in your face :P

[ExNihilo]

10 minutes ago, Columbia Comics said:

@Jaymole  dude...stop editing every one of your posts.  It makes you look even more guilty.

You eff'ed up...plain and simple.  Fall on the sword and move along.  Making excuses only makes things worse for you.

It seems a bit unfair for the board (which I believe in early posts in this thread) asked for the opposing side of the story in order to paint a more complete picture.  And now Jaymole expresses his side of the story and is attacked for making excuses.  Did you want both sides of the story or did you not?  It's unfortunate that he didn't speak up sooner as the length of his silence made him look more and more guilty.  But now it's a case of "you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."  To call him out on it seems a little disingenuous (considering board members wanted to hear his side).

(EDIT: I don't mean it makes you specifically disingenuous, I just mean the contradictory nature of it as a whole)

Edited June 12, 2018 by ExNihilo

[Jaymole]

3 minutes ago, Columbia Comics said:

Well at least it was you making the edits and not a friend...that could certainly blow up in your face :P

I have no hard feelings towards my friend, Jeff or anyone here who thinks I am in the wrong for not falling on the sword.

[Jaymole]

2 minutes ago, ExNihilo said:

It seems a bit unfair for the board (which I believe in early posts in this thread) asked for the opposing side of the story in order to paint a more complete picture.  And now Jaymole expresses his side of the story and is attacked for making excuses.  Did you want both sides of the story or did you not?  It's unfortunate that he didn't speak up sooner as the length of his silence made him look more and more guilty.  But now it's a case of "you're damned if you do and you're damned if you don't."  To call him out on it seems a little disingenuous (considering board members wanted to hear his side).

(EDIT: I don't mean it makes you specifically disingenuous, I just mean the contradictory nature of it as a whole)

Thanks

Again, I was not posting here for months due to my family problems. The only time I posted was making the WTB thread ( I guess someone can check that to see that I am truthful in that regards). I had no idea Jeff started a thread, If I knew I would have responded.

In fact i still have not read this thread or what Jeff said in it, I am just giving my side of the story. People can feel that I am in the wrong, that is fine. I am a very easy going guy like I said, I don't have any hard feelings towards anyone here even if they make snarky comments about my being wrong.

 

 

[newshane]

12 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

In fact i still have not read this thread or what Jeff said in it....

 

Maybe that would be a good starting point?

 

[DeadOne]

1 hour ago, Jaymole said:

maybe I got too paranoid about being in some sort of a scam.

I think making it seem like you were paranoid that you were getting scammed is a bit extreme. Did you think it was a scam when a board member responded to your WTB thread? Did you think it was a scam when you came to an agreed upon price with @Jordysnordy? Did you think it was a scam when you sent the money via PP? Did you think it was a scam when the package actually arrived? I'm guessing no to all those.

A better, more precise way to put it would be that you were becoming desperate to have your money returned to you in a time frame that wouldn't hurt your life.

I suggest putting yourself into Jeff's shoes just a little bit more when it comes suggesting a scam of some sort. He might have taken a winding road in regards to how to handle the books after you refused them, but it's not like he wanted to be out the money any more than you did.
I hope that Jeff has been made fully whole.

Btw, I'm sorry about your family problems, and I see how that could mess a persons mindset, and money being tight only exacerbates that.
I hope things are better, or at least more calm for you now.
Whether people buy it or not, It was good of you to come and post your side on this situation. It's rough, but it's the best way to move forward.  

[Jaymole]

Just now, newshane said:

Maybe that would be a good starting point?

 

Actually, I did not want to as I wanted to give my side of the story without being consciously or subconsciously influenced by anything Jeff or anyone said in this thread.

I have no problem if everyone disagrees with my side of the story. but it is not in reaction to anything anyone said here.

[newshane]

1 minute ago, Jaymole said:

Actually, I did not want to as I wanted to give my side of the story without being consciously or subconsciously influenced by anything Jeff or anyone said in this thread.

I have no problem if everyone disagrees with my side of the story. but it is not in reaction to anything anyone said here.

I just think there are lots of accusations against you that are going to be difficult or impossible to explain away. Using personal circumstance as a smokescreen isn't going to be very effective.

[Jaymole]

1 minute ago, DeadOne said:

I think making it seem like you were paranoid that you were getting scammed is a bit extreme. Did you think it was a scam when a board member responded to your WTB thread? Did you think it was a scam when you came to an agreed upon price with @Jordysnordy? Did you think it was a scam when you sent the money via PP? Did you think it was a scam when the package actually arrived? I'm guessing no to all those.

A better, more precise way to put it would be that you were becoming desperate to have your money returned to you in a time frame that wouldn't hurt your life.

I suggest putting yourself into Jeff's shoes just a little bit more when it comes suggesting a scam of some sort. He might have taken a winding road in regards to how to handle the books after you refused them, but it's not like he wanted to be out the money any more than you did.
I hope that Jeff has been made fully whole.

Btw, I'm sorry about your family problems, and I see how that could mess a persons mindset, and money being tight only exacerbates that.
I hope things are better, or at least more calm for you now.
Whether people buy it or not, It was good of you to come and post your side on this situation. It's rough, but it's the best way to move forward.  

I understand what you are saying. I guess I did not understand why he told me he was willing to lose all that money by sending it to his friend. And when he said send him $45 or you don't get his address, that is when I got very nervous. I also think his anger towards me made me nervous as well.

I will admit, I do not handle situations well when there is anger. I also have been scammed in the past in reagrds to comics so my past definitely had an influence. I really felt sending the books back to him was the safest situation.

 

[newshane]

I think the best thing to do is just apologize and move forward without any other excuses or explanations. You should also consider starting a new profile. Half the board isn't going to go near you with a deal after what they've read here.

[Jaymole]

Just now, newshane said:

I think the best thing to do is just apologize and move forward without any other excuses or explanations. You should also consider starting a new profile. Half the board isn't going to go near you with a deal after what they've read here.

Well that is sad, as I never had a problem with anyone here before. I have bought and sold to many people here without a problem.

I will not start a new profile because I am not going to try and hide from anything.

[faster friends]

Open your sales thread again. I think most people are willing to give a fellow human being another chance.

Everyone makes mistakes in life. 

[Jaymole]

11 minutes ago, faster friends said:

Open your sales thread again. I think most people are willing to give a fellow human being another chance.

Everyone makes mistakes in life. 

Thanks. I was actually perplexed by the posts I was getting thread. Now I understand that there was a thread devoted to this transaction I knew nothing about.

Apologies to all for not replying sooner. I really had no idea.

[Iceman399]

Have you paid Jeff for his shipping to you in full? Have you paid Jeff the return shipping in full? Have you made Jeff whole on any amount he was short from having to sell the books to a new buyer? Well if any of those are a no you haven't made him whole like you said you want him to be.