Need advice on a sale that is going sideways 7 7

[Jaymole]

3 minutes ago, Iceman399 said:

Have you paid Jeff for his shipping to you in full? Have you paid Jeff the return shipping in full? Have you made Jeff whole on any amount he was short from having to sell the books to a new buyer? Well if any of those are a no you haven't made him whole like you said you want him to be. 

The last part is where we disagree and where there will not be a resolution, as it was his choice to split the selling of the books with his friend and lose hundreds of $. He kept commenting to me that because I want to return the books he will lose hundreds of $. I did not understand it then and I do not understand it now...it just did not seem rational. If he had a sales thread for these as he needed money, and this happened, I could understand as I would feel he really needs money and was willing to get anything for them to pay his bills. But it seemed like he was having a tantrum in his messages to me as he said he did not want the books in his house anymore because I need to return them.That is what got me suspicious and if Jeff posted our messages back and forth, you will see that I told him I felt uncomfortable and just wanted to send the books back to him. I kept telling him it would not cost him a Canadian cent....I told him why are you cutting your nose to spite your face?

Again, I feel very bad that this happened but I will not pay someone hundreds of $ for that reason.

[skypinkblu]

23 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

The last part is where we disagree and where there will not be a resolution, as it was his choice to split the selling of the books with his friend and lose hundreds of $. He kept commenting to me that because I want to return the books he will lose hundreds of $. I did not understand it then and I do not understand it now...it just did not seem rational. If he had a sales thread for these as he needed money, and this happened, I could understand as I would feel he really needs money and was willing to get anything for them to pay his bills. But it seemed like he was having a tantrum in his messages to me as he said he did not want the books in his house anymore because I need to return them.That is what got me suspicious and if Jeff posted our messages back and forth, you will see that I told him I felt uncomfortable and just wanted to send the books back to him. I kept telling him it would not cost him a Canadian cent....I told him why are you cutting your nose to spite your face?

Again, I feel very bad that this happened but I will not pay someone hundreds of $ for that reason.

I think you need to read Jeff's posts. Once you do that you will see that your statements made him a bit nervous as well. 

As for a return policy. I'm pretty laid back as well and I state I take back books for any reason. However, even I'd be a little upset if someone wanted to return them without even looking at them.

That's not really the intent of these return policies.

Once you read the posts, perhaps you'll comment again, but you'd be doing yourself a disservice if you don't read what he said. 
You may just understand why HE was concerned. 

There are two people in this event. Just two, not 3 (your friend). Your decision was yours, not your friend's. 

In any case, take some time, do some reading and see what someone else's perspective is.

As far as Jeff losing money ...I think it was more of a make lemonade out of lemons thing for him to offer to help someone else in need.   It was not a bad thing at all on his part.  I see it as him trying to do some good and since he got an offer from a great person to help, he was trying to   work that out.

Edited June 13, 2018 by skypinkblu
I had an extra word in the last sentence. I deleted the word "do"

[DeadOne]

29 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

50 minutes ago, Iceman399 said:

Have you paid Jeff for his shipping to you in full? Have you paid Jeff the return shipping in full? Have you made Jeff whole on any amount he was short from having to sell the books to a new buyer? Well if any of those are a no you haven't made him whole like you said you want him to be. 

The last part is where we disagree and where there will not be a resolution, as it was his choice to split the selling of the books with his friend and lose hundreds of $. He kept commenting to me that because I want to return the books he will lose hundreds of $. I did not understand it then and I do not understand it now...it just did not seem rational. If he had a sales thread for these as he needed money, and this happened, I could understand as I would feel he really needs money and was willing to get anything for them to pay his bills. But it seemed like he was having a tantrum in his messages to me as he said he did not want the books in his house anymore because I need to return them.That is what got me suspicious and if Jeff posted our messages back and forth, you will see that I told him I felt uncomfortable and just wanted to send the books back to him. I kept telling him it would not cost him a Canadian cent....I told him why are you cutting your nose to spite your face?

Again, I feel very bad that this happened but I will not pay someone hundreds of $ for that reason.

So just to make everything clear, when all was said and done, you were refunded the full amount of the original purchase minus what it cost Jeff to send the comics to you, and you paid for the comics to be shipped where Jeff requested them to be shipped?

[Jaymole]

3 minutes ago, DeadOne said:

So just to make everything clear, when all was said and done, you were refunded the full amount of the original purchase minus what it cost Jeff to send the comics to you, and you paid for the comics to be shipped where Jeff requested them to be shipped?

I paid for his shipping to me and was going to send the books back to him without it costing him anything, but everything went bad when he said he would rather lose hundreds of $ than have the books sent back to him. That is what got this into a slightly ugly situation and what got me very nervous.

I paid for the shipping to his friend but I thought we agreed that he would pay that and it would be taken off from the $45 I owe him. I will admit that I was very nervous about doing it and did feel like I was taking a chance because I could not make a paypal claim if I did not get my partial refund. I just wanted to send the books back to him, so at the time I said that if he wants them sent to someone else, he would need to pay that.

Now I am willing to pay that as he did give me the refund. I was so nervous about that. Much like a child having a bad experience which will affect them all their life, I have had bad situations in regards to comics that have scarred me and have made me very skittish when people do things I feel do not make sense.

The only part I do not agree with is paying him hundreds of $ to make up for the money he lost by splitting the money with his friend.

Perhaps there were crossed wires between us. That is why i wanted to speak to Jeff over the phone but he wanted to keep it as texts. I think if we had talked over the phone, we both may have felt more comfortable. At the time, I thought his avoidance about speaking on the phone just added to my suspicions.

[Jaymole]

3 minutes ago, DeadOne said:

So just to make everything clear, when all was said and done, you were refunded the full amount of the original purchase minus what it cost Jeff to send the comics to you, and you paid for the comics to be shipped where Jeff requested them to be shipped?

I paid for his shipping to me and was going to send the books back to him without it costing him anything, but everything went bad when he said he would rather lose hundreds of $ than have the books sent back to him. That is what got this into a slightly ugly situation and what got me very nervous.

I paid for the shipping to his friend but I thought we agreed that he would pay that and it would be taken off from the $45 I owe him. I will admit that I was very nervous about doing it and did feel like I was taking a chance because I could not make a paypal claim if I did not get my partial refund. I just wanted to send the books back to him, so at the time I said that if he wants them sent to someone else, he would need to pay that.

Now I am willing to pay that as he did give me the refund. I was so nervous about that. Much like a child having a bad experience which will affect them all their life, I have had bad situations in regards to comics that have scarred me and have made me very skittish when people do things I feel do not make sense.

The only part I do not agree with is paying him hundreds of $ to make up for the money he lost by splitting the money with his friend.

Perhaps there were crossed wires between us. That is why i wanted to speak to Jeff over the phone but he wanted to keep it as texts. I think if we had talked over the phone, we both may have felt more comfortable. At the time, I thought his avoidance about speaking on the phone just added to my suspicions.

[Jaymole]

41 minutes ago, skypinkblu said:

I think you need to read Jeff's posts. Once you do that you will see that your statements made him a bit nervous as well. 

As for a return policy. I'm pretty laid back as well and I state I take back books for any reason. However, even I'd be a little upset if someone wanted to return them without even looking at them.

That's not really the intent of these return policies.

Once you read the posts, perhaps you'll comment again, but you'd be doing yourself a disservice if you don't read what he said. 
You may just understand why HE was concerned. 

There are two people in this event. Just two, not 3 (your friend). Your decision was yours, not your friend's. 

In any case, take some time, do some reading and see what someone else's perspective is.

As far as Jeff losing money ...I think it was more of a make lemonade out of lemons thing for him to offer to help someone else in need.   It was not a bad thing at all on his part.  I see it as him trying to do some good and since he got an offer from a great person to help, he was trying to   work that out.

 

Thanks, I appreciate your responses and perhaps I should read the thread, but I can't tonight as this has really come as a shock and I don't think I can handle it right now.

I understand that returning the books without opening is not normal, but this was an abnormal situation and I was not in the position at the time to keep the books when my friend said he could not pay. I also was not going to lie and say "my friend did not like the books so I would like to return them". I was straight with Jeff at all times.

Like everyone, I have faults, one of them being that I am too easy going and I should have put more pressure on my friend to pay. I asked Jeff if he could talk to my friend but Jeff said no, which I totally understand and agree with as the transaction was between me an him, but I thought that having someone with a stronger force might help. If you can believe it, I actually was feeling bad for my friend as I knew he was in a bad situation with his wife (they were saving for a vacation and new furniture)...even though he just made my situation a real mess!!

I am sorry this happened and I apologize to Jeff that the transaction went bad. I think we both had some distrust of each other which did not help things.

[mattn792]

4 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

If you can believe it, I actually was feeling bad for my friend as I knew he was in a bad situation with his wife (they were saving for a vacation and new furniture)...even though he just made my situation a real mess!!

That’s some tough sympathy to sell, dude clearly has his life priorities twisted if he’s buying comics to the detriment of his quality of life.  I say it frequently - you can’t live under the comics.

if you knew his financial situation in advance, you never should have tried to broker this deal without cash in hand.

[Red84]

13 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

I paid for his shipping to me and was going to send the books back to him without it costing him anything, but everything went bad when he said he would rather lose hundreds of $ than have the books sent back to him. That is what got this into a slightly ugly situation and what got me very nervous.

 

BS!

Everything went bad when you backed out of a transaction. Congrats on taking no responsibility.

[Jaymole]

5 minutes ago, mattn792 said:

That’s some tough sympathy to sell, dude clearly has his life priorities twisted if he’s buying comics to the detriment of his quality of life.  I say it frequently - you can’t live under the comics.

if you knew his financial situation in advance, you never should have tried to broker this deal without cash in hand.

That is the thing, he really was not in a "bad" financial state. His wife found out about the books and she got very upset and he was afraid of taking such a large sum out of their bank account. That is why he always bought my books in small lots and never over $75 in the past, so his wife would not find out. Some wives just don't see comic collecting as being worthwhile...and she thought a vacation and furniture were way more important than comics.

 

[jsilverjanet]

I love it when people offer advice that they never follow.

[jsilverjanet]

1 minute ago, jsilverjanet said:

I love it when people offer advice that they never follow.

and this post isn't about Jaymole

[comicquant]

3 hours ago, Jaymole said:

Jeff said that he would not accept the return , I then said, if he can give me a 10% discount, I would start a thread here and sell the myself at 50% off. The 10% discount would drop them a little below 50% and I would at least get some or most of my money back. He said no, he will not do that, he said that he wants them shipped to another person and he will take a $200 loss as they will split the sales 50/50. He said he does not want the books in his house anymore. I did not, and still do not understand this reasoning, but I am guessing he was upset with me. I know he was disappointed, and I felt bad, but I just could not afford to buy them myself, I only did this to help my friend and now it blew up in my face.

Jeff shared much of the conversation with me while this was going on (because he was uncomfortable where the demands were headed) and I'm almost positive you asked him for $100 off, not 10%.  Which, in this case, was a substantial discount off the total.  You have to look at it from Jeff's perspective.  Ostensibly you were unable to make ends meet so demanded a return, but if he happened to shave another $100 you'd somehow make it work?  After that you made multiple dizzying attempts to change terms that were settled upon which seemed like intentional obfuscation.  Shove all that aside, I still fail to see why you would think it was okay to not accept responsibility for a deal you made with someone else falling through?  It was never Jeff's fault you fronted your friend the money when you didn't have the means to do so.  The entire conversation you and Jeff had should've been between you and your friend.  The moral of the story is, never forfeit your hard-earned credibility because your buddy's wife might get mad.                       

[Number 6]

25 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

I paid for his shipping to me and was going to send the books back to him without it costing him anything, but everything went bad when he said he would rather lose hundreds of $ than have the books sent back to him. That is what got this into a slightly ugly situation and what got me very nervous.

 

When you say “sending the books back to him without it costing him anything” is this where you were going to refuse delivery of the package?

[The Lions Den]

6 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

That is the thing, he really was not in a "bad" financial state. His wife found out about the books and she got very upset and he was afraid of taking such a large sum out of their bank account. That is why he always bought my books in small lots and never over $75 in the past, so his wife would not find out. Some wives just don't see comic collecting as being worthwhile...and she thought a vacation and furniture were way more important than comics.

 

First you blame the seller and now you're putting the blame on your "friend." Sounds to me like it's always someone else's fault...

[Jaymole]

13 minutes ago, comicquant said:

Jeff shared much of the conversation with me while this was going on (because he was uncomfortable where the demands were headed) and I'm almost positive you asked him for $100 off, not 10%.  Which, in this case, was a substantial discount off the total.  You have to look at it from Jeff's perspective.  Ostensibly you were unable to make ends meet so demanded a return, but if he happened to shave another $100 you'd somehow make it work?  After that you made multiple dizzying attempts to change terms that were settled upon which seemed like intentional obfuscation.  Shove all that aside, I still fail to see why you would think it was okay to not accept responsibility for a deal you made with someone else falling through?  It was never Jeff's fault you fronted your friend the money when you didn't have the means to do so.  The entire conversation you and Jeff had should've been between you and your friend.  The moral of the story is, never forfeit your hard-earned credibility because your buddy's wife might get mad.                       

I made the offer after i found out that Jeff would not accept the return and was going to lose hundreds of $ by selling them elsewhere. I felt guilty at that particular time so I asked for the discount so i can get the books at a  price to sell on the boards...you may be right, it may have been $100...in my mind I was thinking around 10%. I thought this way he could see what I was selling and at the price he gave them to me so he will know it was on the up and up and I am not making any money on them.I have sold on the boards and I know that it is hard to sell sell bronze books more than half guide, especially on books below high grade. I really did not have the time or energy to sell on the boards with all that was going on but I did feel bad. When Jeff said he would rather lose the hundreds than do that, and then when he said send him $45 or I don't get the address, that is when I got very wary. I guess I started thinking "Why won't he let me return the books to him".

 

[Jaymole]

22 minutes ago, Number 6 said:

When you say “sending the books back to him without it costing him anything” is this where you were going to refuse delivery of the package?

Actually, I thought that in the beginning, but a couple of days later found out I could not do that as there would not be a tracking number so I would have paid for the shipping back to him as I needed paypal to see that the package was sent back. Again, I wanted to send the books back to him because he had my money and I told him that I was very wary as if I sent them to someone else, I would have no paypal claim if I did not get my partial refund.

[RockMyAmadeus]

Well.

[comeaux]

44 minutes ago, Jaymole said:

he really was not in a "bad" financial state. His wife found out about the books and she got very upset

 

Is he DGarthwaite, is she a model and what about the soundman from Jackyl? 

[Jaymole]

I am off to bed. I do take responsibility but I am trying to explain what was going through my head at that time.

If this happened today, I would be in a much better position and since Jeff does not take returns, I would have kept the books as I have time to either sell them on the boards and take the loss on some books, or wait out my friend if he paid in installments.

[Red84]