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WORST film you witnessed or heard of (comic book or otherwise)
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Started by Bosco685,

437 posts in this topic

Sauce Dog

Sauce Dog

Posted
Posted

I think my brain dumps all memories of bad movies so I never have to relive them, thus thinking up examples that I found very abysmal often results in a brain fart :D 

I do however recall that I turned off Blade: Trinity very early on into the film, which is something I never do (if I've decided to watch something I'll see it through to the end...but not this). What a dump. So that gets my vote for worst superhero movie I've seen.


 

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kav

kav

Posted
Posted
3 minutes ago, D84 said:

Steel was worse than both.

Even worse-Real Steel.  Here's my review of that crapfest:

 

No spoiler alert here: nothing to spoil.
 
      Ok it's young Anakin Skywalker again-the 10 year old kid who 
somehow
knows all about working on robots n stuff.  they even cast a little dude
that looks like Anakin.  Did they think we wouldn't notice?  Or, were 
they
hoping we would?
 
    Ok it's the future where humans dont fight anymore because it's not
violent enough.  The definition of violence is in question here, I must 
admit.
I personally think it's more violent if a human gets a tooth punched out
than if a robot gets its head knocked off.  But what do I know?
 
    So Wolverine I mean Huge person_too_unaware_of_social_graces stars as the loser dude who keeps
buying robots and keeps seeing them turned into scrap.  He's always 
broke
but he always  comes up with money for more robots.  It's like 'Road 
Warrior',
where gas is supposed to be precious, but everyone speeds around 24/7 
in
their souped up vehicles.  Duh.  Whatever.
 
      He keeps trying to win a fight so he can get like $2000.  I'm 
thinking,
dude-just keep the $50,000 you spent on a robot and pretend you won
20 fights.  Sigh.
 
    So kid finds a robot at the bottom of a thousand foot drop culvert
at a robot wrecking yard.  He somehow manages to lug the 1000 pound
item up the thousand feet of stairs-some lame mention is made of using
a 'winch'.  I'm thinking if it's not a thousand foot winch it's pretty 
much
useless.  But this is Anakin Skywalker we're talking about here so he 
gets
it DONE.
 
      The writers also couldn't resist the cliche of the kid who has 
never seen
his dad and is stuck with him and they bond, along with the bonus 
cliche of the
ex-flame who has given up on loser but the love gets re kindled.  I'm
not at that part of the movie yet but I can see it coming, man.  Kudos 
to
the writers for sticking to the formulas-we wouldn't want to confuse
the audience with an actual original story now, would we?
 
    The economics of robot fighting are somewhat also in question-
you can show up for a fight and any dude will give you $1000 if your
robot wins and keep the parts if he loses.  Keep in mind this robot
was THROWN AWAY, like all the  other robots in the robot boneyard.
I'll let you figure out the contradiction here-no need for me to spell
out everything.  Fuzzy math?  This is more like long-haired hippie math.
This is CHIA Pet math, man.
 
      This is a real sigh-inspiring 'film'.  You know, the sigh you give 
off
when you see something lame.  As in "~sigh~ - gimme a break."  OK I 
started
this review at the part where robot dude won his first fight.  I'm going
back in.  Keep ya posted.  ~Sigh~
 
    Criminy.  I'm back almost immediately to report a dumb Transformer
break dancing robot rip-off scene.  Pass out some more kudos, insufficiently_thoughtful_persons.
I really hate screenwriters, as a general rule.  Even more than 
politicians,
possibly.  So kid comes up with the RADICAL idea to teach the robot how
to box.  Of course Wolverine is an ex-boxer.  Didn't see that coming, 
did
we?  The fact that no one else ever thought of this leads me to believe
that in this future, toxic gases have dramatically lowered the human IQ.
Sad, really.  I wish I could breath a few whiffs so I get dumb enough to
enjoy this movie.  I'm certain the screenwriters have been huffing the
stuff like crazy.  Ease up, guys.  save some for the screenwriters of
'Battlefield Earth'.  They are currently smarter than you.  ZING!
 
      PS Wolverine: do you have to be a one-note actor?  Every character 
you
play is EXACTLY THE SAME.  Put on some black Ex-Men clothes, dufus.  
His idea
of a different character is getting a shave and a haircut.  ZING!  
Don't mess
with me.
 
    There's also plenty of dumb scenes like a 1000 pound robot sitting
on a tailgate and not only doesn't the tailgate snap, it doesn't even 
flex.
The robots appear to actually weigh about 5 ounces from the way they
gravitationally interact with their surroundings.  ZING!  PS the robot's
name is 'Atom'.  DC comics should sue.
 
    Then we have the touching scene where Rocky I mean Atom stares at
himself in a mirror wondering "What's it all about, Alfie?".  Nice 
touch,
screenwriters.  Man what a touch of genius-we'll anthropomorphize the
robot.  Yeah, THAT'S never been done before, dillrods.  Kav-what's with 
all
the harshness?  You seem genuinely angry at this film.  Ok yeah, I AM.
Maybe you like having your intelligence insulted but I find it rather 
offensive.
Say something about my mama, that won't make me as mad.  Say my mama so
hairy her armpits look like she got Don King in a headlock or something.
This robot staring in a mirror is ME OFF!
 
      Just so I'm not perceived as entirely negative, I will say 
something
nice about this movie: the two-headed robot was pretty cool.  Why are
the behind the scenes film guys-the designers, set builderS etc always 
so
good when the writers are so bad?  What's that all about, anyway?  As 
an artist I imagine I
would feel the same way illustrating a comic that had really
sucky writing: unfulfilled.
 
    So Wolverine gets beat to a pulp by the guys he stiffed at the
beginning of the movie.  But don't worry-remember Wolverine heals fast
and he's just fine and dandy the next day.  Kudos!  Then the touching 
but
predictable scene where Wolverine loses his kid to the legal guardian.
Man gets kid, man loses kid, man gets kid back-you know the drill.
 
    The movie draws to its inevitable conclusion-Rocky I mean Atom has
a Bout with the Russian fighter I mean Russian robot 'Zeus' who is of
course undefeated.  Would it be a spoiler if I told you who wins after
being on the ropes or are you smart enough to figure it out for
yourself?
 
    I'm giving this movie 2 stars.  Not 5 for obvious reasons, not zero
because at least it was somewhat fun to watch.
 
    That's a wrap!

 

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1950's war comics

1950's war comics

Posted
Posted

Independence Day was beyond stupid but many people at the time called it their favorite movie

it was one of those movies where entire cities are being blown up,.. millions are being killed and the earth hangs in the balance ..and yet there is a four minute scene with a dog..

we are supposed to worry about whether or not this dog lives ....and of course the dog lives ... but then back to another major US city being disintegrated...

then (and forgive me i only watched it once in disgust when it came out so my memory is a bit bad)

then Will Smith's baby momma who is a stripper finds a garbage/dump truck and starts driving from LA to Texas and on the way they save and pick up the Presidents wife who has somehow survived a helicopter crash ...

and oh never mind it is just a really stupid movie ... a movie that tells a lot about what young people at the time considered to be a good movie.. i specifically remember many pro and college athletes calling it their favorite movie

the only movie even more stupid was one called "Outbreak" with Dustin Hoffman which i will review later....

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1950's war comics

1950's war comics

Posted
Posted (edited)
1 hour ago, kav said:

Even worse-Real Steel.  Here's my review of that crapfest:

 

No spoiler alert here: nothing to spoil.
 
      Ok it's young Anakin Skywalker again-the 10 year old kid who 
somehow
knows all about working on robots n stuff.  they even cast a little dude
that looks like Anakin.  Did they think we wouldn't notice?  Or, were 
they
hoping we would?
 
    Ok it's the future where humans dont fight anymore because it's not
violent enough.  The definition of violence is in question here, I must 
admit.
I personally think it's more violent if a human gets a tooth punched out
than if a robot gets its head knocked off.  But what do I know?
 
    So Wolverine I mean Huge person_too_unaware_of_social_graces stars as the loser dude who keeps
buying robots and keeps seeing them turned into scrap.  He's always 
broke
but he always  comes up with money for more robots.  It's like 'Road 
Warrior',
where gas is supposed to be precious, but everyone speeds around 24/7 
in
their souped up vehicles.  Duh.  Whatever.
 
      He keeps trying to win a fight so he can get like $2000.  I'm 
thinking,
dude-just keep the $50,000 you spent on a robot and pretend you won
20 fights.  Sigh.
 
    So kid finds a robot at the bottom of a thousand foot drop culvert
at a robot wrecking yard.  He somehow manages to lug the 1000 pound
item up the thousand feet of stairs-some lame mention is made of using
a 'winch'.  I'm thinking if it's not a thousand foot winch it's pretty 
much
useless.  But this is Anakin Skywalker we're talking about here so he 
gets
it DONE.
 
      The writers also couldn't resist the cliche of the kid who has 
never seen
his dad and is stuck with him and they bond, along with the bonus 
cliche of the
ex-flame who has given up on loser but the love gets re kindled.  I'm
not at that part of the movie yet but I can see it coming, man.  Kudos 
to
the writers for sticking to the formulas-we wouldn't want to confuse
the audience with an actual original story now, would we?
 
    The economics of robot fighting are somewhat also in question-
you can show up for a fight and any dude will give you $1000 if your
robot wins and keep the parts if he loses.  Keep in mind this robot
was THROWN AWAY, like all the  other robots in the robot boneyard.
I'll let you figure out the contradiction here-no need for me to spell
out everything.  Fuzzy math?  This is more like long-haired hippie math.
This is CHIA Pet math, man.
 
      This is a real sigh-inspiring 'film'.  You know, the sigh you give 
off
when you see something lame.  As in "~sigh~ - gimme a break."  OK I 
started
this review at the part where robot dude won his first fight.  I'm going
back in.  Keep ya posted.  ~Sigh~
 
    Criminy.  I'm back almost immediately to report a dumb Transformer
break dancing robot rip-off scene.  Pass out some more kudos, insufficiently_thoughtful_persons.
I really hate screenwriters, as a general rule.  Even more than 
politicians,
possibly.  So kid comes up with the RADICAL idea to teach the robot how
to box.  Of course Wolverine is an ex-boxer.  Didn't see that coming, 
did
we?  The fact that no one else ever thought of this leads me to believe
that in this future, toxic gases have dramatically lowered the human IQ.
Sad, really.  I wish I could breath a few whiffs so I get dumb enough to
enjoy this movie.  I'm certain the screenwriters have been huffing the
stuff like crazy.  Ease up, guys.  save some for the screenwriters of
'Battlefield Earth'.  They are currently smarter than you.  ZING!
 
      PS Wolverine: do you have to be a one-note actor?  Every character 
you
play is EXACTLY THE SAME.  Put on some black Ex-Men clothes, dufus.  
His idea
of a different character is getting a shave and a haircut.  ZING!  
Don't mess
with me.
 
    There's also plenty of dumb scenes like a 1000 pound robot sitting
on a tailgate and not only doesn't the tailgate snap, it doesn't even 
flex.
The robots appear to actually weigh about 5 ounces from the way they
gravitationally interact with their surroundings.  ZING!  PS the robot's
name is 'Atom'.  DC comics should sue.
 
    Then we have the touching scene where Rocky I mean Atom stares at
himself in a mirror wondering "What's it all about, Alfie?".  Nice 
touch,
screenwriters.  Man what a touch of genius-we'll anthropomorphize the
robot.  Yeah, THAT'S never been done before, dillrods.  Kav-what's with 
all
the harshness?  You seem genuinely angry at this film.  Ok yeah, I AM.
Maybe you like having your intelligence insulted but I find it rather 
offensive.
Say something about my mama, that won't make me as mad.  Say my mama so
hairy her armpits look like she got Don King in a headlock or something.
This robot staring in a mirror is ME OFF!
 
      Just so I'm not perceived as entirely negative, I will say 
something
nice about this movie: the two-headed robot was pretty cool.  Why are
the behind the scenes film guys-the designers, set builderS etc always 
so
good when the writers are so bad?  What's that all about, anyway?  As 
an artist I imagine I
would feel the same way illustrating a comic that had really
sucky writing: unfulfilled.
 
    So Wolverine gets beat to a pulp by the guys he stiffed at the
beginning of the movie.  But don't worry-remember Wolverine heals fast
and he's just fine and dandy the next day.  Kudos!  Then the touching 
but
predictable scene where Wolverine loses his kid to the legal guardian.
Man gets kid, man loses kid, man gets kid back-you know the drill.
 
    The movie draws to its inevitable conclusion-Rocky I mean Atom has
a Bout with the Russian fighter I mean Russian robot 'Zeus' who is of
course undefeated.  Would it be a spoiler if I told you who wins after
being on the ropes or are you smart enough to figure it out for
yourself?
 
    I'm giving this movie 2 stars.  Not 5 for obvious reasons, not zero
because at least it was somewhat fun to watch.
 
    That's a wrap!

 

good review and spot on ,,,

they actually filmed a couple scenes near my house , the Ingham county courthouse in Mason Mi ,,... a friend of mine who is the real life court reporter there was cast in the movie as the court reporter

Hugh Jackman was the star and half the young girls in the city of Lansing went out there to the filming in hopes of getting a glance a Jackman 

so with the local ties i decided to rent it when it came out and it was so stupid that i quit watching  after the first 15 minutes ,... i did fast forward to the scene with my buddy though....

 

Edited by 1950's war comics
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kav

kav

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, 1950's war comics said:

good review and spot on ,,,

they actually filmed a couple scenes near my house , the Ingham county courthouse in Mason Mi ,,... a friend of mine who is the real life court reporter there was cast in the movie as the court reporter

Hugh Jackman was the star and half the young girls in the city of Lansing went out there to the filming in hopes of getting a glance a Jackman 

so with the local ties i decided to rent it when it came out and it was so stupid that i quit watching  after the first 15 minutes ,... i did fast forward to the scene with my buddy though....

 

It was utterly stupid.  No one had ever thought to use a sparring robot in the ring or teach a robot to box.
Sure thing, hollywood.

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▫️

▫️

Posted
Posted
1 hour ago, 1950's war comics said:

Independence Day was beyond stupid but many people at the time called it their favorite movie

it was one of those movies where entire cities are being blown up,.. millions are being killed and the earth hangs in the balance ..and yet there is a four minute scene with a dog..

we are supposed to worry about whether or not this dog lives ....and of course the dog lives ... but then back to another major US city being disintegrated...

then (and forgive me i only watched it once in disgust when it came out so my memory is a bit bad)

then Will Smith's baby momma who is a stripper finds a garbage/dump truck and starts driving from LA to Texas and on the way they save and pick up the Presidents wife who has somehow survived a helicopter crash ...

and oh never mind it is just a really stupid movie ... a movie that tells a lot about what young people at the time considered to be a good movie.. i specifically remember many pro and college athletes calling it their favorite movie

the only movie even more stupid was one called "Outbreak" with Dustin Hoffman which i will review later....

On Independence Day, I saw it for the first time in my early twenties. I remember being torn on it then. Loving the destruction but absolutely hating the comedy elements or their attempts at such. I walked out of the theater liking the movie but I think I was just taken by the scale of the destruction on the big screen. Watched it again a decade later and definitely did not like it. I did watch the sequel and really hated that one.

On Outbreak, again, watched in my early twenties and I remember liking it. I can’t remember what went down though. I will have to rewatch.

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kav

kav

Posted
Posted
18 minutes ago, Oddball said:

On Independence Day, I saw it for the first time in my early twenties. I remember being torn on it then. Loving the destruction but absolutely hating the comedy elements or their attempts at such. I walked out of the theater liking the movie but I think I was just taken by the scale of the destruction on the big screen. Watched it again a decade later and definitely did not like it. I did watch the sequel and really hated that one.

On Outbreak, again, watched in my early twenties and I remember liking it. I can’t remember what went down though. I will have to rewatch.

You can not turn a corner and avoid an explosion.  The explosion does not "pass you by".    I  wish Hollywood would stop doing this and also outrunning explosions in general.  Yeah explsoions travel from 3,600 mph to 23,000 mph-

 

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kav

kav

Posted
Posted

Ps that's the most unconcerned dog ever facing a massive explosion.  Compare to actual dogs dealing with piccolo petes outside on real 4ths of Julys.

 

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onlyweaknesskryptonite

onlyweaknesskryptonite

Posted
Posted
5 minutes ago, kav said:

You can not turn a corner and avoid an explosion.  The explosion does not "pass you by".    I  wish Hollywood would stop doing this and also outrunning explosions in general.  Yeah explsoions travel from 3,600 mph to 23,000 mph-

 

WarmWelcomeGreatwhiteshark-small.gif.a92bd5a8bc2eff1b29ea5db715edc2a7.gif

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Larryw7

Larryw7

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, jcjames said:

"La Dolce Vida" by Felinni.

Saw it in a film class 25 years ago. Still hate it to this day and I only sat through it once. 

One of my.favorite movies!

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