What do you do when your kids ask to have your duplicate collectibles? 2 2

[Randall Ries]

I had stuff that was mine and they weren't allowed to play with them or touch them or read them. I would ask them "Instead of my stuff, what would YOU like to collect?" They ended up choosing their own stuff. if they insisted on something that was mine, I told them "When you are older, we will see."

[the blob]

I steal it back. They don't appreciate them.

[fantastic_four]

Note that I was only referring to one thing here that I'm torn on--anything I have duplicates of.  Usually that goes to sales to fund the collection, but it feels somewhat greedy on my part to not at least OCCASIONALLY give them duplicates, although as I noted if I give one thing I usually have to give two, and I won't always have duplicates of two things to even give.  If I could find a way for them to work to earn them I'd be open to giving them everything, because then not only are the collection-funding items going to a good place they're also learning the value of work.  Note that I said they're spoiled in the original post, so it's not like they don't already have plenty.

Aside from duplicates there's plenty of the lines drawn with my stuff.  I don't let them touch statues, or higher-end figures, or even comics aside from low-grade readers.   The only reason I even draw these lines is they're too young to not mess them up; if they were older I probably wouldn't even draw these lines assuming they're careful enough.  I've dealt with this until now by hiding duplicates intended for sale, but now they're old enough to find them.  And they've found them often enough to now my son goes hunting around the house looking for stuff he might want.  I'm keeping some stuff well-hidden, and other stuff up higher than he usually can get to--although he's wise to this and has started building ways to climb up, either with footstools, longboxes, or other things that usually can support his weight, but sometimes can't and things come tumbling down.  Which means I now have to stop hiding stuff because they're too old for me to do it anymore.

[Jayman]

51 minutes ago, Randall Ries said:

"When you are older, we will see."

For a pair of 5 year olds, best answer! 

[kav]

1 hour ago, Randall Ries said:

Haha. I was surprised at not only caving on those types of things, but the degree in which I caved. Peace and quiet becomes priority 1 and a parent will do nearly anything to attain it. Only one I really regret which was a decision taken away from me was the home schooling thing. A qualified parent is in a much better position to teach their kids. We found out during the pandemic who was qualified and who were sending their kids to school because of taxpayer subsidized babysitting.

As a retired teacher I'd say abt 50% of parents dont give 2 squats about how their kids do in school-they just want the babysitting.  Many dont even give the school a valid contact number because they do not want to be bothered-which can be very disturbing for a teacher when a child has a sudden medical issue.  We can't do anything.  

[fantastic_four]

57 minutes ago, Jayman said:

1 hour ago, Randall Ries said:

"When you are older, we will see."

For a pair of 5 year olds, best answer! 

Is this under the assumption that it's something a 5-year old can't appreciate or handle without breaking it?  Most things I collect that's true of, but in the case of action figures it isn't.  Right now that's what he's hunting around the house for, although later it could be everything else I collect.  5-year olds are a prime demographic for them, and Hasbro Marvel Legends are engineered for pretty much the exact use case I'm experiencing here--to be enjoyed both by the parent and the child.

[grebal]

10 hours ago, fantastic_four said:

Consider this hypothetical that for many of you I'm sure has been reality--you collect comics or some comic-related collectible like statues or action figures.  You end up with multiples of an item, either by design because you're a part-time dealer, by accident, or because you've upgraded one for the other.  The reason why isn't all that important, but you've got extra for whatever reason.  Your child identifies that you have more than one of the thing and asks if they can have the extra.  Assume that you pretty much spoil the kid already, or at least that the kid has plenty of toys and as everyone does they just want more.  What do you tell them?

I've been expecting this, and this week it finally happened.  These are the possible answers I can think of to give:

• No, you've got plenty of stuff already.
  • Problematic because obviously if you have more than one of something for whatever reason you've probably got far more than they do so it's a response likely to build resentment over time.  Yes, you worked for what you have and they haven't yet, but that won't stop the resentment.
• Yes, it's extra, so sure, take it.
  • Also problematic because they will expect to get any and all extras you ever have, and if you're a part-time dealer or just occasional seller then your kid ends up taking all of your inventory.
• Yes, but you have to work for it.
  • This is the more balanced response I'd like to go for, but I don't know how to make it work for smaller kids--and my twins are 5 so that's the boat I'm in.

How do you handle your kids asking to have some of your stuff for their own?  I collect comics, action figures, and statues.  I let my 5-year old twins play with the action figures, but not the comics or statues.  My kids are the reason I got into action figures...I didn't realize just how awesome they've become over the last few decades, so I'm now selling all my statues and replacing their display space with action figures, which in most cases look better than the statues I'm replacing and are far cooler to display since you can achieve a ton of different poses.

In past I've cut him/her a good deal.

At least a couple percent below fmv, though depending on his recent behavior and obedience I can be rather extravagant - and discount as much as 3% below what I could sell it for net of fees. 

Edited April 19, 2021 by grebal
But I've tended to spoil the little rugrats.

[troydivision1]

2 hours ago, fantastic_four said:

How old are your kids?

Preschool age.
Starting kindergarten this year.

[Lurker89]

I figured this about adult kids wanting valuable FAs that you have more than one of....

Small Keys sure.... Big Keys  not so much...

My daughter is about to turn three... Part of me hopes she gets into comics as she grows up and hope my collection is a inspiration for her to be a nerd.

I'd definitely part with some minor FAs and other keys to start her off.

[snitzer]

Within reason, I let them both take and open whatever they wanted over the years (our attic is like Xmas 24/7). Now, the mistake I made...a few years back in Baltimore I bought my youngest a copy of Ultimate Fallout #4. He’s 13 now, knows how to use eBay, is great at math, and is pleading with me to get it slabbed so we can sell it 😂 

Edited April 19, 2021 by snitzer

[Randall Ries]

48 minutes ago, fantastic_four said:

Is this under the assumption that it's something a 5-year old can't appreciate or handle without breaking it?  Most things I collect that's true of, but in the case of action figures it isn't.  Right now that's what he's hunting around the house for, although later it could be everything else I collect.  5-year olds are a prime demographic for them, and Hasbro Marvel Legends are engineered for pretty much the exact use case I'm experiencing here--to be enjoyed both by the parent and the child.

I wanted my kids to have their own interests and hobbies. Sure, they liked my stuff. It was colorful and shiny. Looked like kid stuff. I wasn't a hoarder and like now, didn't have duplicates of everything I owned. Whatever I had was one of a kind. I wanted to be the place they jumped off from into their own collector interests.

I also wanted them to be able to differentiate between my stuff and their stuff. When they began to show interest in having stuff, I brought them to flea markets. We would walk around and they would gravitate toward things they found fascinating. Pogs were a big deal around that time. We stopped at this guys table and he had a box full of old glass milk bottle caps. I said to my son "Take a cap and turn it over. Look inside it." There were little cardboard inserts that kept a good seal between bottle and cap. Usually with the company's name or logo, perhaps a cartoon image of a cow etc printed on the cardboard.

"Those are where 'Pogs' came from." I said. "Kids used to collect the round inserts from milk bottle caps when I was a kid. We traded 'em or sold them to each other for a nickel." My oldest son LOVED "Pogs" and was utterly fascinated with the idea that these were "antique pogs" as he called them. So, I bought the box of caps for $10. He shelled the caps when he got home and had some REALLY cool inserts. Had a big Zip=Loc bag a little more than half full. He took his to school the following Monday and was the hero for a day among his fellow "Pog" collecting classmates. "Antique Pogs". He never traded or sold one of them. He had bragging rights.

Edited April 19, 2021 by Randall Ries

[Randall Ries]

47 minutes ago, fantastic_four said:

Is this under the assumption that it's something a 5-year old can't appreciate or handle without breaking it?  Most things I collect that's true of, but in the case of action figures it isn't.  Right now that's what he's hunting around the house for, although later it could be everything else I collect.  5-year olds are a prime demographic for them, and Hasbro Marvel Legends are engineered for pretty much the exact use case I'm experiencing here--to be enjoyed both by the parent and the child.

Double posted. Never did that before. LOL!

Edited April 19, 2021 by Randall Ries

[Randall Ries]

1 hour ago, kav said:

As a retired teacher I'd say abt 50% of parents dont give 2 squats about how their kids do in school-they just want the babysitting.  Many dont even give the school a valid contact number because they do not want to be bothered-which can be very disturbing for a teacher when a child has a sudden medical issue.  We can't do anything.  

Is it 50%? I would have guessed 80% for the babysitting and 20% for the involved parents. Then pundits have the nerve to wonder why US schools come in dead last internationally in every category other than the drop out rates. Frankly, I'm not sure why people have kids at this point.

[kav]

Just now, Randall Ries said:

Is it 50%? I would have guessed 80% for the babysitting and 20% for the involved parents. Then pundits have the nerve to wonder why US schools come in dead last internationally in every category other than the drop out rates. Frankly, I'm not sure why people have kids at this point.

Could be 80%.  I know it's bad-real bad.  Cause of school failure is lack of parental involvement.  Certain groups have sraight A kids.  Parents make sure of this.

[kav]

Seeing kids with old clothes that dont fit, mom pulls up to pick em up in Lexus with nails and whatnot done to the 9s.  Infuriating.

[Jayman]

1 hour ago, fantastic_four said:

Is this under the assumption that it's something a 5-year old can't appreciate or handle without breaking it?  Most things I collect that's true of, but in the case of action figures it isn't.  Right now that's what he's hunting around the house for, although later it could be everything else I collect.  5-year olds are a prime demographic for them, and Hasbro Marvel Legends are engineered for pretty much the exact use case I'm experiencing here--to be enjoyed both by the parent and the child.

Not necessarily referring to whether they break anything or not, it was towards anything valuable that you might have. If certain items are within your comfort zone to let them play with and possibly break, that’s fine. If they are eyeing up a $250 or higher collectible, “maybe when you’re a bit older” is the proper answer IMHO, doubles or not. 

Edited April 19, 2021 by Jayman

[Randall Ries]

23 minutes ago, kav said:

Could be 80%.  I know it's bad-real bad.  Cause of school failure is lack of parental involvement.  Certain groups have sraight A kids.  Parents make sure of this.

I studied the "myth" of "Dumbing Down" for a couple of years. Turns out it isn't a "myth" or even a "theory". It's a fact. American literacy and intellect began plummeting starting in 1927. When "The Jazz Singer" came out in theaters. Starring Al Jolson. What? Why?

Because "The Jazz Singer" was the movie in which the characters began to speak. Al Jolson said "Wait a minnit! Wait a minnit. You ain't seen NOTHIN' yet!" Yes. When movies began to speak, our intellect and literacy began heading south.

And yeah. A lot of people might say "Well, that's stupid. No WAY!" Some SMART people might say that. I consider myself well read. And possibly I AM. For THIS day and age. But when I took a written test designed for 8th grade kids to be passed into High School in 1895, turns out I would have been held back. And a LOT of my contemporaries would be as well. I failed that thing within an inch of my life.

When people say "Yah well those tests had stuff on them that we simply don't need to know." Yeah? Like science? Geography? Arithmetic? History? In short, knowing the world around you. Knowing how it ticks and is held together through mathematics, history and sociology. DUMB people say stuff like the former statement. And lazy people. The only correct word in that opening sentence is the word "Simply". LOL!

And really, by the end of that test and my scoring, I wasn't as feeling as much ashamed as I was feeling cheated. A very weird feeling. I also learned that Japans LOWEST test scoring is still HIGHER than America's HIGHEST test scoring. THAT'S because Japanese parents let their kids be kids before they have to go to school. So ages 0-5, they can be carefree children. Parents are teaching them numbers, letters and colors but letting them play and just be children mostly. When they are old enough to go to school, the parents get REALLY involved with their children's education and they work WITH the teachers and really hit the educational gas on their kids. It's part of the reason why we see Asian children playing Mozart on a piano or violin FLUENTLY at 5 years old and little Johnny and Suzi America are making fart noise videos.

AMERICAN parents do the exact opposite. Teach their kids numbers and letters and colors and once they go to school it's HANDS OFF. TEACHER becomes the educator and the Fall Guy. American parents usually don't participate in their kids education to an effective degree. Because THAT'S why they pay TAXES.

THEY give THEIR children involved education. WE give OUR brightest children Ritalin. I was actually shocked when I found out that kids can use calculators in school now. When I was a student, that was grounds for suspension. So, don't nobody lecture me about dumbing down and how it's false. It is absolutely real.

Edited April 19, 2021 by Randall Ries

[kav]

9 minutes ago, Randall Ries said:

I studied the "myth" of "Dumbing Down" for a couple of years. Turns out it isn't a "myth" or even a "theory". It's a fact. American literacy and intellect began plummeting starting in 1927. When "The Jazz Singer" came out in theaters. Starring Al Jolson. What? Why?

Because "The Jazz Singer" was the movie in which the characters began to speak. Al Jolson said "Wait a minnit! Wait a minnit. You ain't seen NOTHIN' yet!" Yes. When movies began to speak, our intellect and literacy began heading south.

And yeah. A lot of people might say "Well, that's stupid. No WAY!" Some SMART people might say that. I consider myself well read. And possibly I AM. For THIS day and age. But when I took a written test designed for 8th grade kids to be passed into High School in 1895, turns out I would have been held back. And a LOT of my contemporaries would be as well. I failed that thing within an inch of my life.

When people say "Yah well those tests had stuff on them that we simply don't need to know." Yeah? Like science? Geography? Arithmetic? History? In short, knowing the world around you. Knowing how it ticks and is held together through mathematics, history and sociology. DUMB people say stuff like the former statement. And lazy people. The only correct word in that opening sentence is the word "Simply". LOL!

And really, by the end of that test and my scoring, I wasn't as feeling as much ashamed as I was feeling cheated. A very weird feeling. I also learned that Japans LOWEST test scoring is still HIGHER than America's HIGHEST test scoring. THAT'S because Japanese parents let their kids be kids before they have to go to school. So ages 0-5, they can be carefree children. Parents are teaching them numbers, letters and colors but letting them play and just be children mostly. When they are old enough to go to school, the parents get REALLY involved with their children's education and they work WITH the teachers and really hit the educational gas on their kids. It's part of the reason why we see Asian children playing Mozart on a piano or violin FLUENTLY at 5 years old and little Johnny and Suzi America are making fart noise videos.

AMERICAN parents do the exact opposite. Teach their kids numbers and letters and colors and once they go to school it's HANDS OFF> TEACHER becomes the educator and the Fall Guy.

THEY give THEIR children involved education. WE give OUR brightest children Ritalin. I was actually shocked when I found out that kids can use calculators in school now. When I was a student, that was grounds for suspension. So, don't nobody lecture me about dumbing down and how it's false. It is absolutely real.

I had a 7th grade student masturbating in class while sexually assaulting female student.  Was this grounds for suspension?  No-it was grounds to send him back to class after 5 minutes.

[shadroch]

Get off of my lawn. 

I'm still trying to figure out what you mean by extra collectibles.

 

[fantastic_four]

4 minutes ago, shadroch said:

I'm still trying to figure out what you mean by extra collectibles.

I've got an unboxed Thanos he plays with, and a boxed one of the same figure I picked up on clearance that I'm intending to sell at some point.  He asked for the boxed one.  So anything that's a duplicate of something you already have.  

Right now it's action figures, but in a few years it could also be comics that I have multiples of.