Comic collectors who have had serious, hobby-related friction with a significant other, how did it resolve? 2 2

[theCapraAegagrus]

I get that bread, I spend that bread!

[kav]

42 minutes ago, Randall Ries said:

 

Grabbed her large jewelry box, ran back down the hall with it and emptied its entire contents into the toilet. The Flush Heard 'Round The World.

 

YES!
TWO CAN PLAY THIS GAME!!!!   TWO!!!  

[MatterEaterLad]

It may help if you show her how collecting can benefit her.

Years ago I sold an ASM1 because there was a $2000 sewing machine that she wanted.

I bought another expensive book and sold it for 5x the value eight years later. I reinvested half and used the rest for a vacation. She's supported me ever since. 

[SeniorSurfer]

9 hours ago, Artboy99 said:

yikes!

my ex from long ago wanted to teach me a "lesson" about what is important and she told me she threw away my comic collection. I went to the room they were supposed to be in and they were no longer there.

I knew we were done and returned the "lesson" and threw out all of her shoes. She had almost 50 pairs.

I will be honest...even to this day 25 years later I never thought she would have been capable of it. Whether she really did throw them out or had just hid them I still couldnt be with someone like that.

 

So... they haven't found the body yet, is what you're saying?

I'm with someone that knows the value of a dollar, so it's more likely she would run away with them as opposed to destroying them.  I keep scrupulous records and don't have her pay any part of the cost of books and all seems well.  She's aware of their value, semi-aware of what to do in case of my imminent slip-and-fall, and always nods approvingly at the prices realized when some are sold/traded.  She's still amazed though that anyone would pay such mazuma for, basically, colored newsprint, but as long as it continues...

 

[Artboy99]

35 minutes ago, MatterEaterLad said:

It may help if you show her how collecting can benefit her.

Years ago I sold an ASM1 because there was a $2000 sewing machine that she wanted.

I bought another expensive book and sold it for 5x the value eight years later. I reinvested half and used the rest for a vacation. She's supported me ever since. 

shouldn't have to prove how it benefits her and she knew I collected comics before she moved in with me. 

[DavidTheDavid]

12 hours ago, Randall Ries said:

She knows comics mean a lot to me. She isn't interested but she will ask to see a new purchase when it comes in the mail. Only friction is when the CC bill shows up.

I have a serious music jones as well. THAT can get pretty loud. I collect lossless digital files mostly so there isn't a lot of clutter. I have had at one point over 5,000 cassette tapes and I never bought tons of CD's. The ones I have are promo's or rare EP's. But the digital folders. I love music more than comics and so that's where the bulk of my expenditures lie. That has been a problem with her for years. Not the music but the cost. I remind her that I don't go to bars, or bowling with "the boys", I don't smoke weed (anymore) and I'm not addicted to heroin. Buuuut she doesn't care about all that.

😁 This was my wife's favorite entry. 👆

14 hours ago, speedcake said:

I stopped telling her how much I spend on comics and I show her like one in ten new books I add to my collection.

Easy!

When I read her this one, she said, "Well, you all do that, right?" It didn't help that I couldn't keep a straight face while reading it.

[MatterEaterLad]

26 minutes ago, Artboy99 said:

shouldn't have to prove how it benefits her and she knew I collected comics before she moved in with me. 

I don't do these things because I have to, I do it so she can appreciate my hobby.

It's nice having a wife knows what an AF15 is, what GPA is, what pressing is, etc. 

[xvipah]

My wife is pretty accepting of my comic hobby. It recently got far more expensive as I made some changes to the way I collect. But she recognizes that I love doing it, it keeps me out of her hair, and that, if I do it right, down the road it'll be more than worth the extra expense now.

Plus, it doesn't hurt that I support all her hobbies without flinching.

 

[Randall Ries]

21 minutes ago, DavidTheDavid said:

😁 This was my wife's favorite entry. 👆

When I read her this one, she said, "Well, you all do that, right?" It didn't help that I couldn't keep a straight face while reading it.

I have been married 3 times and had scads of girlfriends. I am Shakesperean when it comes to acting now. I realized long ago that when women are asking present day questions, they are already three moves into the future. I do five moves now. (You play chess by any chance? You are about to make your first mistake. Showing your girl this response.)

[Randall Ries]

18 minutes ago, xvipah said:

Plus, it doesn't hurt that I support all her hobbies without flinching.

 

See, that is interesting to me. I found that hobbies tend to be more of a "man" thing. No woman I have ever been with had an active hobby. Not one.

They ALL liked to spend money, though. ALL of them spent a LOT on bath products. So now, when I get in the shower, I look like a guy learning how to roller blade. There is so much slippery goo and residue coating the shower floor it's a wonder I don't fall and get a concussion.

Closest I ever came, I managed to keep my balance but suddenly came bursting through the shower curtain like some soap covered Johnny Carson. To the bewilderment of my wife sitting in the adjoining bedroom. Then I get this classic observation:

"Honey! You still have soap in your hair! You forgot to rinse it out! OH HAHAHAHAAAA!"

I tried sitting in a shower chair once but found myself sliding slowly toward the drain in the floor. And so the shower is a little ecosystem of the rest of the house. Her stuff is everywhere and I am relegated to a small area. Just enough to put a bar of soap on and a bottle of shampoo. See. There is no WINNING. Just different shades of LOSING. LOL!

[xvipah]

My wife likes to do these weird diamond art painting things. I don't even know how to explain them, I just say "yes dear" as she buys more  . She also likes to plant stuff and paint different planters for planting stuff in. For all of it I just leave her alone, and she leaves me alone with my comics and Lego. It's a good system.

I won't comment on the bath thing much except to say... yes you are correct.

4 minutes ago, Randall Ries said:

See, that is interesting to me. I found that hobbies tend to be more of a "man" thing. No woman I have ever been with had an active hobby. Not one.

They ALL liked to spend money, though. ALL of them spent a LOT on bath products. So now, when I get in the shower, I look like a guy learning how to roller blade. There is so much slippery goo and residue coating the shower floor it's a wonder I don't fall and get a concussion.

Closest I ever came, I managed to keep my balance but suddenly came bursting through the shower curtain like some soap covered Johnny Carson. To the bewilderment of my wife sitting in the adjoining bedroom. Then I get this classic observation:

"Honey! You still have soap in your hair! You forgot to rinse it out! OH HAHAHAHAAAA!"

I tried sitting in a shower chair once but found myself sliding slowly toward the drain in the floor. And so the shower is a little ecosystem of the rest of the house. Her stuff is everywhere and I am relegated to a small area. Just enough to put a bar of soap on and a bottle of shampoo. See. There is no WINNING. Just different shades of LOSING. LOL!

 

[Randall Ries]

5 minutes ago, xvipah said:

My wife likes to do these weird diamond art painting things. I don't even know how to explain them, I just say "yes dear" as she buys more  .

 

And that's awesome, right? There is nothing worse than being told the things you love doing are "stupid", "childish", "expensive" and "You are going to stop this." Bleemee they are out there too.

I don't know what diamond art paintings are, but it's a hobby. When women don't have hobbies, guess what they are going to focus on? I asked a girlfriend once "Did you have a Barbie when you were a kid?" "Oh YES. Many many Barbies!" "Ever have a 'Ken'?" She never had a "Ken". And it showed. It was dress me up time at least once a week. It was dictating what I should wear, what I should think, how I should act. Had to finally suggest one day that she "Should" find another man. Had enough. Bad fit. I couldn't help wishing she had any hobby (other than my existence) as she was very focused.

The HILARITY of it was I now had a lot of clothes I didn't have to buy. And the next girlfriend would inevitably show up and the comments were always "You are NOT wearing THAT out in PUBLIC." Each subsequent GF hated the clothes the previous GF had bought for me. Happened enough where I realized this was an actual thing. Not co-incidence. That's one of the reasons I was never a cheater. Morally, it's betrayal. Secondly, if they instinctively "knew" these were gifts from a former GF, no WAY I'd get away with horsing around. LOL!

[xvipah]

It is awesome. Not only does it make it easy to justify my hobbies, but we both spend time together doing stuff we like: she doing her diamond thingies, me putting together Lego. Works out well all around. She knew when she married me I had a lot of "stupid" or "childish" hobbies. She's good with all of them, she's even joined in on the RPG playing now and again and she's a video game addict.

42 minutes ago, Randall Ries said:

And that's awesome, right? There is nothing worse than being told the things you love doing are "stupid", "childish", "expensive" and "You are going to stop this." Bleemee they are out there too.

 

[Hairless Wookiee]

I don't know what it is about wives and hating comic books. I'm constantly told that I'm wasting money on "stupid paper". I was a collector when we first got together and right after my daughter was born we went to my local shop and I picked up what was in my box and it cost something like $50. I was told that was it and I needed to stop buying comics. I agreed to it at the time, we just had a baby and there were more important things to spend money on. Years go by and I even sold my collection (mostly modern books, Wolverine, X-Men, Batman, Spider-man, etc.) and used it to pay for a week long trip to Vegas for our anniversary which she was really excited about. Now it's been years and my daughter is a senior in high school and my son is away at college so I've started collecting again. I work hard and I'm the only source of income for the family but she is 100% in charge of our finances. My collection sustains itself for the most part. I make sure to not use "our" money to buy comics but that still isn't good enough. I sold some Star Wars figures and used the money to buy some big books but she still acted like I wasted our money on it. There's just no winning. I'm always threatened with my comics being destroyed or tossed out. I now hide my best slabs and raw books from her just in case. She acts like my 3 long boxes and 1 short box are taking up all the room in the house. Anyway....that's my life. 

[marvelmaniac]

I had a wife once...

Still have my comic books.

[THE_BEYONDER]

11 minutes ago, Hairless Wookiee said:

I don't know what it is about wives and hating comic books. I'm constantly told that I'm wasting money on "stupid paper". I was a collector when we first got together and right after my daughter was born we went to my local shop and I picked up what was in my box and it cost something like $50. I was told that was it and I needed to stop buying comics. I agreed to it at the time, we just had a baby and there were more important things to spend money on. Years go by and I even sold my collection (mostly modern books, Wolverine, X-Men, Batman, Spider-man, etc.) and used it to pay for a week long trip to Vegas for our anniversary which she was really excited about. Now it's been years and my daughter is a senior in high school and my son is away at college so I've started collecting again. I work hard and I'm the only source of income for the family but she is 100% in charge of our finances. My collection sustains itself for the most part. I make sure to not use "our" money to buy comics but that still isn't good enough. I sold some Star Wars figures and used the money to buy some big books but she still acted like I wasted our money on it. There's just no winning. I'm always threatened with my comics being destroyed or tossed out. I now hide my best slabs and raw books from her just in case. She acts like my 3 long boxes and 1 short box are taking up all the room in the house. Anyway....that's my life. 

Sounds like an absolute nightmare....

[xvipah]

My wife did say much the same thing a few years ago, but I had like 20+ long boxes in various places around the house. She wasn't wrong so I have found a better place for them now.  

13 minutes ago, Hairless Wookiee said:

She acts like my 3 long boxes and 1 short box are taking up all the room in the house.

 

[Robot Man]

My wife could care less. She knows collecting makes me happy and keeps me out of her hair. It is a self generating hobby. I have to sell stuff to buy more. I collect lots of other stuff as well, she even lets me display some of it around the house (tastefully). I do have a comic room/office. I can do anything there. She’s an antique dealer. Keeps nothing. She has even brought me home stuff from her buying trips. 

Only time I got heat was when I brought home another electric guitar. I keep them in cases under the bed. She keeps her shoes in bins there as well. I moved a bin into the closet to put a guitar there. She went nuts and rightly so I guess. So now I put them under the bed in the guest room...

[batman_fan]

1 hour ago, xvipah said:

My wife likes to do these weird diamond art painting things. I don't even know how to explain them, I just say "yes dear" as she buys more  . She also likes to plant stuff and paint different planters for planting stuff in. For all of it I just leave her alone, and she leaves me alone with my comics and Lego. It's a good system.

I won't comment on the bath thing much except to say... yes you are correct.

 

My wife’s hobbies include

expensive jewelry 

expensive purses

expensive cars (I drive a beat up pickup)

essential oils (if you know what that is, condolences)

rental properties (actually a good investment for us)

painting and drawing

going on vacation 

I don’t care about any of it because it makes her happy as long as savings plans are being met. 

Edited April 22, 2021 by batman_fan

[Lorne Malvo]

Thanks guys. Now I am having second thoughts about getting married.

Since I live with my GF, I have everything shipped to my office. And once I get home, I quietly slip the new addition(s) into my collection without her knowing when she's either cooking or taking a shower.