The Green Arrow Pop Quiz, Part One

I decided to take a look at the Silver Age Green Arrow. Sure, I knew he used a lot of trick arrows, but I wanted to go deeper than that. When you really dig, when you take into account the plots, characterizations and psychology of this iconic hero, you find out that Green Arrow and his sidekick Speedy used a lot of trick arrows. Sorry, that’s all I got. The characters bear a close resemblance to Batman and Robin, in that Oliver Queen, like Bruce Wayne, is very wealthy and has a young male ward. Both duos ride around in tricky vehicles named after their hook (the Batmobile and the Arrow Car). Neither has superpowers and they both work out of a cave below their mansions. The big difference appears to be that Batman had that whole detective thing going for him, while Green Arrow was…well, he used a lot of trick arrows.

Rather than just outline a story or mention some crazy arrows, I'm going to present a scenario and see if you can guess what kind of arrow needs to be used. Remember that your quiver holds about half a dozen thin arrows and yet any arrow you withdraw can be any size, and no matter how many arrows are in your quiver you have any infinite number you need. They’ll all be called arrows, but there is no need to bring that pesky “physics” stuff into this. The “arrows” will fly true regardless of how unbalanced, ungainly, non-aerodynamic and just plain impossible they are. So those are the rules. Ready? Let’s go!

Question: You’re in the American West, in a ghost town. You’re having a shootout with a bunch of escaped convicts dressed as Indians. You have a platoon of soldiers on your side. Suddenly, the Indians attack. They’ve got guns while your side has only arrows. What arrow do you use?

Answer: A tumbleweed arrow, of course! Thank goodness you just happened to have a couple of these bad boys with you. After shooting them, they curl into hoops and roll along the ground, stirring up dust. The dust acts like a smoke screen and suddenly, the convicts can’t see anything. (Adventure Comics #258 “The Arrow Platoon”)

Question: Same story only now the Indians are lobbing hand grenades at you. We all know these are deadly ordinance on the battlefield. So how did GA and his Arrow Platoon counteract this surefire menace?

Answer: Acetylene arrows. "The incendiary shafts meet the grenades in mid-air, fuse with them, and the grenades are carried skyward, to explode harmlessly." Sure, they also had boxing glove and boomerang arrows, but without these "boutique" arrows, the day would surely never have been saved. (Adventure Comics #258 “The Arrow Platoon”)

Question: You’re a teenage boy trying to make some money and you get a job as a lumberjack. The problem is you’re not a strapping lad, are too young to wield a giant chainsaw and probably don’t have the axe skills needed to fell a row of trees in 10 minutes, as your boss needs. What arrow can do what you can’t?

Answer: A buzz saw arrow. Yes, it’s an arrow that’s shot from a bow and yet it acts as a buzz saw on tree after tree after tree. The sheer force necessary to make that arrow (which is not gas-powered, or powered in any way, it appears) turn into a high-speed buzz saw that doesn’t lose its momentum after chopping down one, two, three or more stately hardwood trees — and yet must stop eventually or it would be sawing people in half in no time — takes the kind of…oops, I wasn’t supposed to mention physics, was I? My apologies. Of course it’s a buzz saw arrow! What else would it be? (Adventure Comics #263 “Have Arrow Will Travel”)

Question: What if some industrialist guy wanted young Speedy to bring his company up to code by cleaning out the enormous smokestack polluting the countryside? What arrow should Speedy use?

Answer: Break out the Chimney Sweep Arrow! I have to say, this one is a doozy. Speedy brags that it’s the exact diameter of the man’s “chimney” (and shows us a little fan with about a one-foot wingspan). Then the young sidekick stands in the center of the cavernous smokestack to shoot his iddy biddy arrow. Okay, I won’t say any more other than to mention that a little attention to physics would be nice. Just a teeny bit. (Adventure Comics #263 “Have Arrow Will Travel”)

Question: If you saw a giant, glowing arrow coming in from space, and you tried to catch up to it in your arrowplane, but then it suddenly burst open like a Roman candle, what arrow would you use to save everyone below?

Answer: A firecracker Arrow. It’s a popular arrow, but this was a use I hadn’t seen. One firecracker arrow was able to target hundreds of flaming, flying fragments, blow them all up individually, and do all this before anything hit the ground. I was astonished at just how many firecrackers must be in the arrow, and how it was able to intercept each of the fragments, blow them up and move on. Good thing I wasn’t focusing on physics or I’d have even more questions. (Adventure Comics #252 “The Mystery of the Giant Arrows”)

Question: If you were diving in the ocean and saw a fire-breathing monster (yes, I said “fire-breathing” in relation to an underwater creature — you’re going to get picky about realism now?? Okay, I don’t blame you.), what arrow would you use to coax it back to hibernation?

Answer: Silly human. You don’t use an arrow for that! You use telepathy to talk to an octopus that happens to be Aquaman’s friend Topo, and hope the friendly cephalopod understands you despite your having never demonstrated any telepathic powers before. Ever. In the history of your strip. And then you have to hope that Topo tells all the fish in the vicinity until you get a fish that speaks Sea Monster, and then hope that fish can coax ole Halitosis back to his corner of the abyss. An arrow… as if! (Adventure Comics #267 “The Underwater Archers”)

How did you do on the quiz? Next month I’ll tell you the arrow and you have to guess how it was used. Get ready to get your geek on because this won’t be an easy A. (And if you happen to bring a shiny apple arrow for the teacher, well, I may allow extra credit for spelling your name right.)

Joanna Sandsmark — A former writer for DC Comics and TV’s Weird Science, Joanna Sandsmark is also the author of The Wisdom of Yo Meow Ma, A Girl’s Best Friend, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Cat, 10 Spiritual Lessons You Can Learn From Your Dog, and Explore Your Destiny With Runes. If you'd like to learn more, including a detailed bio and more information about Joanna's books, please visit her website or visit her blog.

This is a guest article. The thoughts and opinions in this piece are those of their author and are not necessarily the thoughts of the Certified Collectibles Group.